Nostalgia

There is a wonderful feeling that wells up inside my chest when I look back at fond memories. It's not something that can easily be described, but it's strong. Emotionally strong. If words could be put to it, it'd be something like...."Oh, how I long for this again."

Ironically enough, this feeling arose when I glanced at my first blog, which now is fairly old and stale...Miscellany, my stab at literary humor. I remember how much fun it was to sit down and think of puns that were intentionally painful to read. And how much of an experience it was to share my blog with others, who commented and shared their own little stories and outlooks on life with me. It was a nice, small community.

And it was a good time.

But gradually, the posts became....less. Less in quantity, probably less in quality, and less in effort. There was just too much stuff to do-- too much real-world stuff that keeps people from sitting back and enjoying simple pleasures. Sadly, this real-world stuff is also what separates boys from men and girls from women. This stuff includes all the responsibility and all the psychological development and impact from cultures, groups and environments that overwhelm people in their adult years....and these things are why people like me say we don't have time to write anymore.

But why don't we have time?

"I'm too busy." "I have a job." "I have too much homework." "I'm not in the mood." "There's something more important." "I'd rather hang out with my friends." "It was something I did back when I was a kid."

...it was something I did back when I was a kid.

There may in fact be a million excuses for why I can't blog anymore, or why she can't play with dolls, or why he can't play tag in a field, or why you can't talk to that one good friend all those years ago...but no matter what it is, these things are simply something "we did back when we were kids."

What a depressing thought. Am I saying I can't blog anymore, because it's childish? Or that you can't play tag?

Not at all. But all these nostalgic moments that people have-- they're wonderful memories because those were times when people were free of the hardships they're aware of now, and were able to blissfully do what they wanted, without thinking, "I could be doing something more important." Because after witnessing financial tragedy, legal responsibility, bills, alcohol, drugs and whatnot, it's hard to see life in the same light. And when the world demands people to constantly work in some way or another in order to survive and succeed...it makes times like playing tag and blogging humor seem childish.

I wish I could go right back into the mindset of, "Let's write something today, and check up on my other bloggers, and reach out and try to promote my blog." But the adult mindset takes over and writes it off as "Sorry, you don't do that anymore."

I wish it didn't do that. Because the reality is that none of us are truly as busy as we think we are. That time we had back then still exists now.

We've just changed.